Just Don't Partake!

A lot of things keep happening to me. Negative things. Out of nowhere financial problems arose. I was the last to know about employment problems that will be popping up next month. Rearrangement of schedules and such. The last two weeks have been a big shit sandwich and I have had to take a slice of humble pie for desert. I keep thinking about what another old timer alcoholic continues to tell me. “Just don’t drink. Whatever you do don’t drink and things will work out!” So far this guy has been right about everything. He is not my sponsor but rather an accountability partner who is providing service to me. He keeps telling me that his service towards me is helping him stay sober. Should something happen to my current sponsor I will surely approach this man to be my next one.

I have started my 4^th step again. I have been directed to be fearless and brutally honest in this moral inventory which is what I plan to do. I have also started to listen to Joe and Charlie again. Miracles continue to happen. Small miracles are how things go for me. Slow and steady wins the race and I am grateful for all that I have.   

“Whatever Happens Don’t Drink!”

12 and 12

Below is a 12 and 12 list that I believe and subscribe to daily…

12 Things that keep me sober:

1. Not drinking
2. Meetings
3. Reading the BB
4. Working the steps
5. Realizing I have no control
6. Relinquishing Control
7. Giving it to my Higher Power (Group Of Drunks)
8. Calling my sponsor
9. Calling another alcoholic
10. Being of service
11. Avoiding triggers
12. Processing triggers

12 Things I am grateful for:

1. My sobriety
2. My health
3. My Wife
4. My Children
5. My life
6. My relationships
7. My home
8. My employment
9. My family
10. My higher power
11. My sponsor
12. The Fellowship

ESH

My experience, strength and hope are such that at first for me drinking was a fun and social event. I was a weekend warrior in High School as well as the military afterwards. I was on hiatus for about 8 years when I started drinking again. I shared recently that I don’t remember when exactly I started up again, but this was before I realized I was not a “normi.”  It began again with a few drinks here and there and went to full blown binge drinking every so often. Things got pretty bad for me and I came into the program with a less than stellar attitude. After a few relapses I finally got “the message” and stopped drinking. It wasn’t until a few months ago that the obsession to drink was lifted from my mind. This is when the miracle started for me and they continue to happen. Small miracles are how things work for me as opposed to grand miracles. I am grateful. 

Give it away now.....

A struggle is not a struggle unless there is suffering of some sorts. This may seem obvious, but sometimes it helps me process when I write things out. I have not struggled with the obsession in a few months, but I seem to be suffering from a bit of symptoms associated with post acute withdrawal. I have been a bit irritable and bitter towards others. I am not portraying anything that would require amends, just a bit cranky.

I am grateful for what I have and how I am currently living my life. My gratitude has latitude and I could take up this entire page with a list, but will not. I am working my program to the best of my abilities and continue to attend 5-7 meetings a week. I am working through my responsibilities and ensuring that I am keeping up with life on life’s terms. I am about to start my 4^th step again and although I have not made a commitment, I continue to try and be of service where I can.

Give it away

Give it away

Give it away

Give it away

Give it away

Give it away

Give it away now….

-RHCP