A new awakening

 My name is David J and I am an Alcoholic.

I share my experiences so that I may continue to emotionally develop. I need to do this.

My journey started years ago towards a faceless endeavor. I was present but not completely sober. Physically I was sober, but emotionally and mentally I was not. I was not “all in” with the program. This was my downfall. With about 25 years of drinking experience I came to the realization that I was powerless over my addiction and had no control of my life. My bottom was not as extravagant as most, but I realized that it was my last straw. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired (to use an AA term).

I have found my higher power, got myself an Alcoholic sponsor and am reading the big book of AA. This is making me feel so much better, like a relief has been lifted off my shoulders. For the last couple weeks I have been hitting 1-2 AA meetings a day and participating by sharing. My sponsor has already got me involved with service work for which I am grateful. We assisted with setting up things for a memorial service at a local residence for an alcoholic we did not know. I am working my first step and on how I am powerless over my disease (and many other things actually) and that my life has become unmanageable.

The first step of the 12 steps of AA is “We admitted that we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.” I am intrinsically processing this statement and how it relates to me. 

This is the first step in my recovery.

 

David J