Hapangry

The topic today at my meeting was anger, resentment and fear. Although I have harbored some of these feelings in the past I have not been truly angry or resentful since I was a teenager. I was very angry young man. It did not matter whether you were black, white, short, tall, large, male or female I was angry with you. You could say I was angry towards the world. You could call me an equal opportunity hater. After I enlisted in the Marines, my anger was channeled to something useful. I learned how to drink like a fish not like a gentleman. After I was discharged from the military I settled down a bit mentally, but continued to drink and anger started to unravel itself from its cocoon. I wasn’t as angry as I had been as a younger person, but still had some in me.

However, most of the time I was happy go lucky and engulfed in life on life’s terms; school, work and environment. As I continue in my sobriety today I am eager to get back to my happy go lucky attitude. Currently my gratitude has much latitude and I am thankful for my life. But my face still lacks smile and laughter. I am working on it. My young daughter once told me not to long ago “Daddy how come you never smile?” I still have not been able to answer this simple yet powerful question, but am positive that I will be back to my smiling laughing self soon.

David j